just ask

Be Bold. Be You. And Avoid Sex Parlors.

I heard the greatest sound byte from designer George Lois the other day. It went as follows:

"If you're a cautious creative, your'e dead in the water."

I liked this so much that maybe I took it a little too far in New York last week, when I threw caution to the wind and decided a massage in China Town sounded like a good idea.

As I walked down the astro-turf alley to the entrance of the place, I heard a customer complaining at the counter.

Customer: “Those weren't the kind of noises I heard.”

Massage Parlor Lady: “Oh yes, we've had other complaints, but you see, the person getting the massage was ticklish, and those were the noises you were hearing.”

Customer: “Those were NOT tickle noises.”

A normal person would have turned around and walked out.

I, however, decided that these complaints meant I was in for a legit, therapeutic, Chinese massage, during which my 'massage therapist' would hopefully not offer the 'happy ending' option. Also, it was only $40/hour, and those who know me know I cannot turn down a bargain. It's literally impossible.

During the first 30 minutes of my massage, it became apparent that the person over the half-wall was either incredibly ticklish or having sex.

Every time a 'tickle noise' would arise, I jerked my head up to look at my portly little therapist (Tony, as he liked to be called), who was conducting reflexology on my feet. He would smile, shrug his shoulders as if to say, “Kids! Am I right?!” Then go back to work.

As he continued to dig into my feet, the pain increased so much that I squealed at one point. Hoping others wouldn't assume I, too, was making 'tickle noises,' I quickly asked, “What is that connected to?” (Supposedly every part of the foot is connected to different parts of the body.)

“Shoulder,” he said.

I got excited because I had indeed experienced extreme shoulder pain on my left side, on and off for years. It made sense that the 'shoulder' part of my foot would be so painful. I decided then that this was in fact legit, and it was worth sitting through some tickle noises, which had since died off anyway.

Pretty soon, he was working on a different part of the foot that hurt even worse than the shoulder part.

“What's that connected to?”

He thought for a moment, using hand gestures as if to coax the broken English from his mouth.

“Baby house,” he said.

My brow furrowed as I pointed to my ovaries.

“These?”

He nodded with a smile.

“Does that mean there's something wrong with them?” I asked.

Still smiling, he nodded and said, “Yes,” as calmly and enthusiastically as though I'd asked him if he liked ice cream.

I couldn't help but burst into laughter, which then made Tony laugh. It's always nice to share a laugh with a stranger over your probable inability to have children.

Anyway, my point is, the massage adventure turned out to be the most therapeutic of my life (at one point i'm pretty sure he sucked bad juju out of my body through a portal in my stomach) and made for an afternoon of laughs. Wouldn't have changed a thing about it.

I know it's a stretch to compare Lois's amazing creative advice to a sketchy jaunt through China town, but the whole theme of my New York stint seemed to be this: Take Risks.

And often times, doing the thing that feels most true to you seems like the biggest risk. That's usually when you start to second guess yourself, your talent, or wonder if anyone besides you will like the idea. But upon catching up with my good friend, NYC-Based Photographer Jeff Bark, I was reminded that the only person I need approval from is myself.

As you can see from the photos I snapped at his latest NYC show, Jeff is one of the most creative people I know. But like any truly talented artist, he's had his share of ups and downs with his work. For a long time, not many were interested in what he had to offer—they wanted a tamed-down version of it. But he stuck to his guns, and now people can't get enough. His work adorns the covers of magazines, and he's sought out by many high-end fashion brands. In a nutshell, he finally made it, and he did it his way.

So naturally I respect the hell out of this man, and he said something that fell in line with the George Lois quote—JUST ASK. Meaning, whatever your ideas are, it never hurts to seek out the people, artists, bands, etc. you admire and just ask—can we collaborate? Here's an idea, what do you think? Can we work together and make this happen?

And really, what's the worse that could happen? They say no? Big deal. At least you tried.

I liked this advice, and that night, I took it to heart and just asked. A couple hours later I was shooting with a new band in an NYC venue. Boom.

I met with several other photographers while in the city, all of whom I'd never met. I reached out, asked if I could pick their brain, and they all said yes. In return I got so many valuable insights, ideas, and tons of inspiration.

So for any creatives out there floundering the way I sometimes do, take Jeff's advice and JUST ASK / APPROACH / INSTIGATE / PURSUE whatever it is you want. A little talent and a lot of proactivity goes a very, very long way.